No Whine, Just Champagne Writing Discussion #105

Sad to say, I'm going to have to miss this one. I'll be on the road, somewhere headed south. I know lots of folks write through the traumas in their lives. I'm not one of those. I'm afraid I tend to shut down all creative processes. On the flip side, the urge to write is usually my indicator that I'm healing---that whatever had me in its grip is easing up. I'll be sure to pop in after my trip, and see what others had to say!

HI, Pat! I'm working on my zombie WIP... and making time for it no matter what. Deadline....

Helloooooooooo Pat! I got nothin' but I'll try to show up 'in person' to say so. ;-)

I've returned to writing my book on action movies this week.

My question is, how can I stop myself from thinking of writing time as moments I'm selfishly stealing from the family? Even if I'm home alone, I invariably roll up my sleeves and do some chores when I could be writing. The only time I don't feel guilty is during Nanowrimo, when "everyone knows Mom is busy on her book" (and then I get, "so when are you going to finish your book and make us rich?")

Hey Beaker, even Moms need time to themselves every single day. Time to bathe, to read, to write, to watch the birds feeding at the feeders, watching life as it moves across your yard. You're not stealing something from your family... you're enriching the wife and mother of your family. You're making the wife and mother of your family happy.... how could that be a bad thing?

Carve that time out, give yourself the gift of something for yourself. Do you expect your DH and dear children to sacrifice themselves daily on the altar of 'the family'? Of course not, you encourage them to pursue their dreams and fulfill their goals. Should you do less for yourself?

Just my not-so-humble opinion. ☺

As to my own writing.... I'll share tomorrow. Fingers crossing that I remember in time. ☺

I'm still not writing, though I wish I were. The oblivion of being in a different world might be nice right about now.

So difficult to focus thoughts when dealing with personal loss. Even though being creative can get us out of our heads, the urge to do so may be lacking.

The focus is not there, either. It's hard to find the energy to concentrate.

Hi Pat, I had the same problem after the death of my husband, I could not focus and I finally found a book: How to Survive the Loss of a Loved One, and it really helped. In particular, I allowed the emotions to come out whenever and wherever. A couple of times I broke out in tears at the post office, of all places, because we used to go to the PO every day. It was so cleansing to just allow the feelings to come out and there were times when I was amazed that the pain did not kill me. After awhile my focus began to return and through the day I would be 'ambushed' by the emotions, but the duration became shorter and less frequently. Think of it as being wounded and then slowly making your way back. I know that's a simplification, but it fits with how I felt, anyway.

I did the same thing, though it wasn't at the post office -- it was at the grocery store. He and I always went together, and someone asked where he was. I started crying. After I told her, she hugged me and cried, too. It meant so much to me that this woman cried with me. I will always remember that.

It seems to me that grief opens a person to rare experiences. Like the woman crying with you. The love is unbelievable that came from that woman. I had some experiences like that too, from people who hardly knew me. I think they were angels. And looking back a person came into my life about two weeks before he died and she helped me spiritually after his death. And then she just faded from my life a couple of years later.

What a wonderful comment -- that grief opens a person to rare experiences. I'll keep that in mind as I struggle to deal with the pain.

Come to think of it, I have had some strange experiences. As I was driving home after he died, I hit a patch of black ice. Spun out. And around. And around. I never left the road, I didn't get hurt, and no other car was involved. Scared me half to death. I think that was a sign, but of what I don't know. That it wasn't my time? That I needed to be careful?

I envy the people who can write no matter what, but it seems to me real life gets in the way too often. I wonder though -- you often hear that saying that a writer writes, always. Ignoring the absurdity that one cannot always write, I wonder if the saying means that whatever we are doing, whatever we are feeling, whatever trauma we are living through is all part of the writing process. A person cannot write in a vacuum, so the words and stories and the underlying feelings that help create the stories have to come from somewhere.

I agree, Pat. There are times when dealing with "real life" is merely as much as we can handle.

Deborah, how was your conference in Los Angeles? Is that sort of thing worth it as a way to promote? I'm thinking I need to expand my promotion efforts, but since money is an issue, I'm not sure what to do.

Being a Mom can definately put a damper on time, energy, and the freedom of writing. Everyone always seems to need something, even when they aren't around to demand your energy and time. And, from the moment of that first birth the focus of your drive shifts into motherhood. If you're not Mom, then who are you? Right? That must be why there is so much stress on taking time for yourself. Something we never do.

Focusing on anything can be hard when times are tough, no matter why they are tough. Who knows, losing yourself into an imaginary world, even if only for fifteen or thirty minutes, might help. Just because it will take your focus off the bad things, even for that short time. If you can't work on anything big, think little. 1,000 words or less. A 100 word snipet that can barely be called a story.

Little is a good idea. I'm trying to get back into blogging -- more or less had to abandon that for a while. I'm doing a stream of consciousness page every day, which is helping me a bit. Perhaps next I will try to do a bit of fiction writing.

I came across an interesting sentence in a book today: she had career aspirations -- and hers was a world where skeletons didn't stay inside of closets very long.

I had a vision of her opening a closet, and skeletons by the dozens came pouring out. A mind is a terrible thing to waste!

Pat, the conference was excellent. I can't say I "learned" anything presented, but that wasn't really the purpose of this type of conference since it was more fan-based. The ability to have STACCATO available at the bookstore there helped me get a foot in the door at the Mystery Bookstore in LA and making contact with that manager will be helpful as far as getting a signing there.

Also, exposure being on the short story panel was a great experience. I met 2 well-respected award-winning authors who I plan to stay in touch with, possibly for blurbs for my next book. Meeting a ton of published authors was great as well. Left Coast Crime writers were far more approachable than authors at other conferences I've attended.

Sounds wonderful. I hope this is just the first of many such experiences for you. Staccato does deserve a wide readership.

I wonder if Dana F was there. She's a Left Coast Crime kinda girl. See her post near the beginning of this thread.

And making those professional connections is so important. Or so I've heard. I'm not very good at networking, to be honest.

I'm not good at networking, either. I do okay online. Sort of. But offline? Not so much. I'd really like to sell more books. Unlike Ken, I don't want immortality after I'm gone, but I would like to know that people read and enjoy my books while I'm still here.

Most of my networking consists of exchanging shoe mishap stories with the other soccer moms at the side of the field, and the like.

Go networking!

I've always been very shy about networking, until my book came out and I realized I need to put myself out there. I'm normally shy and have bouts of being star-struck with a biggie comes near. But I've seen Lee Child so many times now that I had no problem approaching him this time around.

Maybe your next book will have a big name endorsement on it!

I was going to be a speaker at a writing conference this August, but I had to cancel since I didn't know if I'd be available. If such an opportunity arises again, for sure I will do it!

It would really be worth the time and effort, Pat. Exposure is what it seems to be all about--especially at fan conferences. The more your name becomes recognizable, the more they will wonder about your book/s.

I will be attending Bouchercon in San Francisco this October. 3 times the size of Left Coast Crime, and I hope again to get on another panel.

Hey Deborah, I may see you at Boucheron in SF. Very cool. I just finished Christa Faust's Money Shot. She's a member of PWA and gave a lecture at the last Boucheron.

Would be excellent to meet you there, Nancy! I'm hoping the 2nd book in my series will be available by October, so will most likely be promoting that one more than STACCATO. A lot to be accomplished for fingers crossed for a September 15th release.

Yes! I look forward to meeting you and to reading your new book. I hope Vendetta will be out by then. I want to enter one of my books in their annual "Best paperback novel" contest. (Echoes is finished).

I find when I'm upset in real life, I write lots of angst-ridden words. I also do mean things to my characters to make sure I their lives are more miserable than mine. It makes me feel better about my own plight. How very fickle of me. But it's true. I do it.

On the writing front, I'm doing copy edits for Book 1 - due Monday. My LAST chance to make any significant changes, so I'm sorta freaked out. My editor gave me revisions/rewirtes to complete on Book 2 - due mid-June. I'm supposed to be funnier. And I realized I need to redo MOST of Book 3 (which I thought was almost done, dang it) - due September-ish. I'm trying to prioritize and juggle those three as well as fight for a title change for book 2. I'm enjoying the publishing process, even though it's stressful. Well, I enjoy most of it. Fighting over titles is not so fun. It's very hard to give over control and trust others with your creative vision. I didn't expect that when I signed up for this gig. It's slowly sinking in that I need to chillax and give over a little of my control. (A definite challenge for me.)

And if I don't feel like writing, I don't write. I allow myself time off. Even with deadlines. So if you need time off, Pat, take some time off, and don't feel guilty about it. You're a writer even if you don't always write.

I like the idea of doing mean things to characters to make sure their lives are more miserable than mine, but I tend to do the opposite -- make sure they, at least, have things go well for them most of the time. Maybe I need a change of focus. Mean sounds good.

Do you like the characters you do mean things to? Or do you have to dislike them so you can be mean to them?

I'm usually mean to my favorite characters and then I give them a happy ending where everything turns out okay at the end. That way I have hope that things will turn out okay for me, too. I really like to do mean things to villians at the end, after giving them a fairly easy ride through most of the novel. Serving up their just desserts, you know.

Such an exciting time for you, Jaime. To know your words will be available in print before too long is an achievement so many writers dream about but either haven't yet had the opportunity, or simply don't have the guts to submit a manuscript for consideration.

The time to let go is upon you, but remember it's your name that will appear on the cover of the book. Certainly don't do anything that risks a relationship with your editor, but your words are, well . . . YOUR words.

Jaime, do you know Dana's last name? If so, I believe the attendance list is still available on the LCC website. Maybe I met her and didn't even know it!

Nope, I don't see her on the list. Is Dana a published author?

Under a couple different pen names/genres. Murder for Hire is her mystery novel. I think she resides a bit more northerly than LA.

Maybe I'll have the opportunity to meet her at Bouchercon.

Jaime, are you on Facebook?

Yeah, but I rarely log on. I'm connected with Pat on there, I think.

I'm guessing that writing can seem pointless when the realities of life overwhelm, yet I'm certain it can also restore life to a writer who's facing the worst the world has to offer.

I've not dealt with strong life blows, so I don't know how I'll react when those things come, but I'd hope that writing still brings me joy or purpose when other delights are taken from me.

Got involved in a movie watching spell and let everything slide. Watched Four Christmases. It was cute, made me laugh out loud a couple of times, ended nicely. But I still would have rather remembered to be here on time. ;o(

I forgot, too. Would you believe I was writing and the time just disappeared? Ah, well... not a bad excuse, I guess. There's always next time.

Hi there. I couldn't make it to the chat. Because my son Chris had a project due well, it's Friday now. Te he!
Anywho, we went to the store to get his supplies, came straight home. And, it took us over two hours to get it done. Because of how easily distracted he can get.
Then, I began catching up more on my writing.
That's what I'm doing lately. I've fallen so far behind.
I've wrote over six pieces for the Gather, Wednesday Writing Essentials.
Four pieces yesterday.
Two today(They're parts one and two of a short story)